VOC 2: AIK.. DAH BERUBAH BALIK????

this time of VOC is about me...

maybe ramai je yg perasan, during sem 2 i drastically change my appearance from wear tudng bidang 45 to wear tudung bidang 50, 55 n 60

huh, x sangka ak bleyh berubah semacam itu punyer cpat...

OKEYH, NAPE AK TIBE BERUBAH NIH....

dah insaf ker????

okeyh

the answer is, 

1) ak tibe2 je mcm dpat hidayah, suke ngan bende2 kait ngan agama

2) my sis always give me advice

3) i join usrah

4) segan biler terserempak ngan girls yg pakai tudung labuh

 ok, reason no.4 nih, ak x tau perasaan tuh dtang dri mane actually, ak stat realise ngan this kind of feeling since im at standard 6

wooowwwwww, amazing, budak kecik lagi mase tuh

then, i make d decision to wear tudung labuh

n i feel peace, but sometime i did felt like im just acting to be kind n whatsoever it is

tones of feeling comes toward me...

so, when d next semester begin, means sem 3, ak dah x berminat sngat ngan bende2 agama bagai nih

ak mcm dah stat nk lari sket, tp ak still terikat ngan usrah n PIM

so ak teruskan lagi, but ak dah stat dress mcm dlu

means, put away the sarung tangan, sarung kaki, n wear selipar jepun (prap prap)

n im continuously do that until now

but deep inside, i feel i encourage myself to do sin, rase bersalah yg x henti2,  there are some reason why i changed :

1) pakai tudung labuh dah mcam jd fenomena n most of them wear it just to follow the trend

2) usually orang akan cop sape saje yg pakai tudung labuh nih as a passive person, n the most important is DIE NIH MESTI GENG PAS

3) some of girls that wear tudng labuh, perangai diorang baikk tp ape yg diorang buat just same mcm other girls yg x pakai tudung labuh buat such as... COUPLE, MENGUMPAT, X KAWAN NGAN GIRLS YG X PAKAI TDUG LABUH, suke main sinis2 orng.

4) ak ade experience psal tdung labuh nih: mase ak drjah 5 or 6, mcm tu lah, my mom nih sngat la suke pas, pengundi pas tegar, then my mom n i go to ceramah at dungun about why ANWAR kene masuk penjara, my mom, yeahhh n of cos pakai tdung yg agak labuh, n me??? freehair... so im just sit beside my mom, tadah telinga dengar ceramah politik, n there are so many mak cik yg pakai tdung labuh, all of them, then when i walk around them, their eyes scrolled up like menjeling, n kind of pandang rendah coz ak freehair.. WELL, HELLOOOO, ak kecik lg la mase tuh, ak x tau sngat pown psal aurat nih, nape perlu buat mcm tuh sekali, n seriously that time, walaupun ak segan tngok org pakai tdung labuh nih, but i tend to ask myself to hate them coz perangai mak cik2 tuh

5) klu ak senyum kat budak tdung labuh nih, ssah sngat diorng nk senyum balik, some of them je yg senyum balik, n semue yg senyum blik tuh coz ak kenal diorang n diorang kenal ak.. :( , well, ak rse x salah nk senyum sesame pompuan, tp lainlah klu ngan budak laki

so, from now, i decide to start again, although it is not as fast as others, but still i want it (nk pakai tdung labuh blik, nk pakai srung kaki n sarung tngan jgak) rindu nk buat nih, but now i think better i change depend on my knowledge bout religious... 

ak dah bgtau someone nih yg ak nk kuar dri PIM, tp x tau la die bgtau x kat ketua PIM ak nih, anyway i dont have any interest on it anymore, i want to focus on my usrah only, stat dri awal, slow2, step by step until i really understand.

but seriously, ak rse bersalah kat diri sendiri, rase truk giler, rse mcm dah hilang semue bende biler ak dah berubah mcm dulu

tp skrang perasaan suke agama tuh mcm dah dtang blik dlm idup ak, slow je, but insyaallah i'll grab it this time... but to change my appearance,.... give me time please... <3 <3